I came to work and had an unusual craving for coffee. The coffee they serve in the break room is atrocious, but a craving is a craving. So I walked across the building to the breakroom. Of course, I frequently visit this break room to gather supplies of paper plates, plastic utensils, and paper cups… and to see if there’s any eye candy sitting around, since it’s where the customer service girls from upstairs take their breaks.
As I was filling my cup, I noticed a sheet of paper lying on top of the big canister of Coffee-mate Creamer on the counter next to the coffee urns. It was an email message that someone obviously had printed out then absent-mindedly left on top of the creamer.
I wouldn’t have given it a second thought except the name on the top of the page caught my eye. It was the name of a female coworker for whom I’ve had on-again / off-again attraction for since I started here. I’ll call her Charlize because she could be Charlize Theron’s homelier sister. My interest in her always has been wishy-washy for several reasons. First of all, workplace romance is often too risky in these days of frivolous sexual harassment charges; not to mention the gossip it can generate. Secondly, I’m just not sure how attractive Charlize really is – her appearance varies and she can range between a 4 and a 7 on the HB scale (I’d say usually she’s a 6). Lastly but most significant is that I’m too damn shy to do anything about it anyway.
I left the sheet of paper where it was and walked back towards my work area. I was going to tell Charlize about it, even though I usually try to ignore her (it’s a shy-guy thing, not a stuck-up thing). I passed by her desk. I stopped and said “Hey Charlize.”
She said, “Hi.” She was wearing a fancy blouse and she looked tired.
“Did you leave an email in the break room? Did you forget it?”
“Um, no, uh….” She seemed confused, or as if I just woke her up. Well, you never know what other people might be going through, especially when you don’t really know them.
“I saw it there and it had your name on it. So…”
She started getting up. “Oh yeah, I did.”
I began turning to go away (shyness makes me a hit & run conversationalist, in and out as quickly as possible, then I make a run for it!).
I told her playfully, “I left it there. I’m gonna make you get up and go get it.”
That was all.
Why is that “Alpha”?
Well, because a typical supplicating, pedestalizing Beta male would have brought the sheet with him and made a big deal out of rescuing it for Charlize and delivering it to her. He would’ve been seeking her approval like an eager puppy.
I wasn’t trying to be mean or inconsiderate, so please don’t misunderstand. It wasn’t that big a deal for her to walk over and retrieve her print-out. In the workplace I would not have grossly inconvenienced her, or anybody else for that matter. Regardless, I got a kick out of it. It was about proving to myself that I don’t always have to be so worried about pleasing others, especially not attractive girls.
But maybe I should’ve been more obvious in my teasing? (Oh boy, now the self doubt sets it….)
I think it might just be that being more of an Omega male than a Beta makes the adoption of the devil-may-care behavior of an Alpha a little easier for me
If anyone who reads this doesn’t understand the meaning of Alpha, Beta, Omega, etc, in the context of the SMP (sexual marketplace), please look the terms up. It has to do with Game theory. Several of the sites on my Blog Roll pertain to this.