Can you be both self-conscious and attention-seeking?

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb

 

Recently at work I’ve had to do some tasks in a small server room that can only be accessed by walking directly through an employee break room. It’s a break room frequented by lots of young women, and a few cuties. From the moment I set foot in the building where these rooms are, my inner critic is hounding me with self-consciousness. All those heads distributed along my path, and I’m wondering if they’re noticing me. Wanting to avoid it, glad when I’m finally in the server room and alone. Yet also, if I’m honest, wanting someone to notice me and to like what they see. It’s an old paradox of mine.

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