The Stairway To Alpha

Here are my 40 steps to becoming an Alpha Male – and transform myself from a shy bookish omega to a man that women want to be with. This a distillation of the advice, plans, and techniques that I have read and heard of, regarding what I have to accomplish in order to attract quality feminine companionship (usually defined as getting laid on a regular basis).

1. Cure (not manage: cure) my mood disorders.
2. Eliminate all my insecurities.
3. Become able to interact with people on a basic level without a recurrence of #’s 1 or 2.
4. Learn how to smile.
5. Stop being an introvert and become an extravert.
6. Join Toastmasters and pretend to like it.
7. Become self-confident.
8. Stop consuming porn.
9. Lose virginity.
10. Find just the right haircut for my hair and my head. Repeat.
11. Invent a way to transplant the DNA of people who tan easily and smoothly into a naturally fair-skinned, freckly and mole-ly redhead like me.
12. Save up $85,000 for height surgery.
13. Purchase an alpha-male wardrobe (expensively faded jeans, designer print t-shirts, fuzzy hat, e.g.).
14. Exchange my glasses for contacts or laser surgery.
15. Stop being nice to attractive women, be a jerk.
16. Memorize the basic principles of Game.
17. Learn and practice the techniques of Game, until they are internalized.
18. Watch Fight Club.
19. Lose weight and develop big muscles.
20. Develop alpha-male body language.
21. Learn martial arts.
22. Get tattoos.
23. Watch The Matrix.
24. Learn to play guitar.
25. Stop being interested in astronomy, history books, obscure movies, Australian Rules Football, wargames, Mystery Science Theater 3000.
26. Learn how to surf, snowboard, ride a motorcycle, bungee-jump, and skydive.
27. Start several businesses.
28. Consider moving to a major urban center (except Detroit or Portland).
29. Purchase a smart phone and get used to it.
30. Watch Fight Club and The Matrix.
31. Purchase lots of condoms.
32. Go to bars regularly.
33. Go to parties regularly.
34. Go to coffee shops regularly.
35. Watch Fight Club.
36. Take ballroom dance classes.
37. Get on Facebook.
38. Travel.
39. Die.
40. Watch Fight Club.

Or, Plan B: become gay. That’ll attract lots of female attention, just not the sexual kind.

P.S. – somewhere there’s a girl reading this and saying “Oh, you just need to be yourself!”

I am “Tim Gibula” and will get over it

Anxiety-Ridden Man Rightly Ashamed Of Every Single Thing He Does

I don’t read The Onion, but wow this one is too good to pass up. Somebody over there really understands what it’s like:

…sources close to Gibula told reporters his perpetual anguish over his words and actions could not be more justified, as all of his missteps—ranging from minor lapses of politeness to his overall slightly disappointing career trajectory—are immediately perceived by those around him as evidence of his inadequacy as a human being.

“Tim’s the kind of guy who is forever second-guessing his behavior, as if the people in his life are constantly scrutinizing every single move he makes, and he’s completely correct about that—we are,” said Paula Ramirez, a coworker who admitted she can barely look at Gibula without a medley of his most embarrassing moments replaying in her head. “Anytime he’s been petrified at the thought of social interaction or obsessively reexamined something he’s said, his fears have been entirely reasonable, given our nonstop monitoring of his behavior.”

A few days ago, I screwed up at work, and this is exactly how I reacted, going into the downward spiral of embarrassment and beating myself up and extending this harsh judgement to my entire life.

In addition, hundreds of slight acquaintances who may have only encountered Gibula once or twice claimed they were able to draw clear conclusions about his entire personality from the fact that he….”

I’m cutting off the quote right there, because you can just supply whatever it is in your own life that you feel ashamed of and fear everyone else would reject you over.

As a matter of fact, I once came up with a rational response for those times that I fretted over encounters with “slight acquaintances”, or even complete strangers. It’s simple: 5 minutes from now, will that person even remember me? Almost always the answer will be No, even if the encounter was pretty bad.

Here’s another saying I once read: You wouldn’t worry so much about what people think of you if you knew how seldom they did. (I’ve seen this attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, yet Dr. Phil claims his father used to say it. Well, maybe Phil’s dad heard it from the first lady.)

(Realize that this is how shy people with low self-esteem go through the day, every day. It really sucks. That’s why social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are called disorders in the first place.)

The good news is that reading this story has gotten me out of the funk I’ve been in for the past few days. I feel more ready to get on with things and quit moping.

Go read the whole piece.

Hat Tip: The Social Phobic

 

Man up vs Woman up, a graph

Funny. However, the things the “man” is doing should be rewritten as beta male and/or omega male, because women are OK with Alphas doing that stuff.

see more Funny Graphs

Crappy mood rant

So, if I just went and grabbed your ass all of a sudden, that would make me a man, right? Hey look at me I’m being assertive and taking what I want.

Of course you wouldn’t like that, would you? Not from an ordinary guy anyway. If I were an alpha (or a sparkly vampire, or tall tv doctor with wavy hair, or an s&m dom who likes gray) I could do that and more. But from an ordinary guy… eeewww how creepy.

I don’t know anything. Sometimes I think maybe I’ve actually been better off by having spent half my adult life withdrawing from the world.

It’s just how am I when I’m in a crappy mood.

Introverts are people too

I hadn’t planned on posting tonight, but just read a great post by Badger. He’s addressing a pet-peeve of mine.

For The Last Damn Time: Shy, Quiet and Introverted Are Three Different Things, And Introverts Are Not Broken People

(For the record, even though they are discrete characteristics, I happen to be all three. I hit the trifecta.)

Finding “Zen” on the Beach

I took this photo on the sand at Long Beach, Washington, USA, on film not digital, about 5 years ago. (This is a scanned image.) It’s well-composed, that’s why I like it. Reminds me of one of those Zen gardens. Please give credit if you use it.

More Rational Responses

~~ 1 ~~

NEGATIVE THOUGHT
Because I’m not as good at socializing and having fun as they are, I’m inferior and have less worth.

RATIONAL RESPONSES
This is Emotional Reasoning (you feel inferior, therefore you are inferior?).

Lacking a skill, or a talent, or experience says nothing objective about your worth. Someone else being that way doesn’t make you worthless, or worthy, or inferior, or superior. By that standard, the only way you could avoid being worthless or inferior is to be the best at everything in the world.

 

~~ 2 ~~

NEGATIVE THOUGHT
I’m not entertaining or fun enough for anyone to want to spend time with me.

RATIONAL  RESPONSES
What if you don’t have to be the life of the party to be liked? There have been more people than I realize who indicated an interest in spending time with me. What if the real issue here is shyness, not whether you’re entertaining.

Fun is something you have, not something you are.